It takes a child to raise a village.
That isn’t a typographical error. Rather, it’s a reframed perspective.
While the original proverb “it takes a village to raise a child” holds an element of truth and has stood the test of time, it is wise to shift our focus to the idea that it takes a child to raise a village in our current fast-paced society. A village tailored to the vastly different living standards of previous generations.
Let me explain:
What does the old saying “it takes a village to raise a child” even mean? What village are they talking about and who are these villagers?
Years ago, decades even, a family unit consisted of more than just parents and children. Grandparents, even aunts and uncles made up and contributed to the primary living environment. This meant shared work, including child rearing. And that, in my opinion, contributed to the mental health and well-being of the mother and child, which had a ripple effect on the family at large.
Parenting today can feel isolating and like a lonesome journey often resulting in depression, anxiety, and other mental health diagnoses. Maternal mental health specifically is being discussed more than ever since the unprecedented life changes brought about in 2020 and its impact on parenting.
We now live in an age where we are more interconnected than ever, but also more isolated. Many of us live in smaller family units often with our extended family in different cities, and the village we rely on today may consist of paid help and childcare services.
Raising our daughter in the covid era of 2021-2022 necessitated that my husband and I take on the role of the “village”. Circling back to the reframed perspective that opened this column, it takes a child to raise a village…
Today, like many other South Africans, our domestic-helper-cum-nanny is an important part of our village. It takes time and effort to fully integrate a foreign individual into our lifestyle, rhythm and at-home culture together with an understanding of how we wish to raise our child.
But if we want our children to be successful, well-adjusted, and productive adults with excellent coping skills and relationships then we must take full advantage of the enriching experiences that can be offered to our children through meaningful relationships with people besides ourselves.
We can’t teach them everything, as much as we’d like to think we can. Even though your heart may swell with pride when you observe your child express themself in the world as a result of your teaching and guidance, one grows to be just as proud to watch them interact and learn from the world and the village.
Some of the ‘villagers’ include:
- Childminders / Nannies
- Au Pairs / Educators
- Immediate and extended family
- Friends and Neighbours
Using technology to upskill my village.
Udemy Inc. is a popular education technology platform used by millions of professionals and students to upskill and advance in their respective careers. I recently enrolled our daughter’s nanny in a course on Udemy to broaden her understanding of childcare and early education in a home environment.
Empowering, upskilling, and investing in your staff’s potential is vital for a successful home environment. She gains so much from learning daily, with my help, if needed. And most importantly feels empowered and confident in her abilities and potential.
While running a family or household like a business might sound unusual, the strategy behind it and the positive impact on a home are noteworthy in today’s evolving world. Just as businesses rely on structure, communication, and efficiency to thrive, so do families. Leveraging technology strategically, like this, is essential to positive growth and development.
Creating a Udemy account to start learning is free and simple. However, course fees differ across industries, certifications and other factors. If you or your nanny enroll for a course, some courses present you with a certificate upon completion that can be attached to a CV or resume that may benefit other job opportunities.
We owe it to our children to allow them to have great experiences and to give them that sense of connection and community especially with the village that we choose to raise them today.